Tag Archive | "groom"

Wedding Planning For Two: 11 Ways To Get The Groom Involved

Now you are a happily engaged couple, planning the wedding of your dreams. Traditionally, the bride has taken the most responsibility for planning the wedding ceremony and honeymoon. Thankfully, gender stereotypes are being challenged and more and more grooms are stepping up to the plate and helping to plan their weddings.
The following lists some simple ways for you to get your groom interested in the planning process:

1) Have one-on-one discussion with your groom.

2) Make wedding planning fun for groom. Try to lower his anxiety about wedding planning and boost his self-confidence. For example, compliment him on his creativity, organizational skills, musical tastes, etc.

3) Create manageable tasks that the groom can be involved with and take accountability for, such as ordering the wedding invitations, addressing them and mailing them to your guests.

4) Ask your groom to what degree he would like to be involved regarding wedding planning. Avoid trying to read his mind about his feelings about being involved in planning your wedding.

5) Ask your groom if there is a special area that he would like to be responsible for one of the following areas:

  • wedding music
  • flowers for ceremony
  • flowers for reception
  • planning your wedding lunch or dinner menu
  • finding tuxedos or suits for himself and his groomsmen
  • listening to different DJs and bands and selecting his favorite one
  • researching and visiting reception sites
  • planning honeymoon (destination, accommodations, itinerary)
  • selecting and ordering wedding cakes and desserts

6) Work with your groom’s special interests and talents. For example, if your groom loves cooking, have him plan the menu for your wedding lunch or dinner. If your groom loves music, have him plan the musical entertainment for your reception.

7) Delegate certain simple tasks to your groom.

8) Brides, avoid the “Bridezilla” phenomenon. A “Bridezilla” is defined by the following behaviors and characteristics:

  • controlling behavior
  • irritability
  • yelling
  • making all the decisions
  • being hard-to-please
  • criticizing the groom’s tastes, ideas and preferences

9) Encourage your groom to think about planning your wedding together as a special, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you two to bond in a unique way and learn more about one another through the wedding planning process.

10) Ensure that you have open and honest discussions about your wedding budget, including the overall budget, budget for ceremony, reception and honeymoon. Discuss what expenses the groom, the bride, the couple, the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents will be responsible for.

11) AVOID fighting over wedding planning and wedding budgets. Finances is the number one topic married couples fight over. Start your marriage on the healthy path by having loving, mature, productive discussions about your wedding finances.

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Who Gets To Choose The Honeymoon Destination (Bride Or Groom)?

Being engaged to your beloved is a wonderful experience. As you two plan the many details of your wedding ceremony and reception, you both realize that what you are really looking forward to is a relaxing and romantic honeymoon. You both have your own ideas as to what constitutes the “perfect honeymoon.” Who gets to choose the honeymoon destination?

There are four options that you as an engaged couple may wish to consider.

Option 1:
The bride selects the honeymoon destination, the resort or hotel, and the activities and itinerary.

Option 2:
The groom selects the honeymoon destination, the resort or hotel, and the activities and itinerary.

Option 3:
The bride and the groom work together to decide on the honeymoon destination, resort or hotel, and the activities and itinerary.

Option 4:
Have an honest and loving discussion about what partner would like to plan each part of the honeymoon. Maybe the bride selects the honeymoon destination, the groom selects the resort or hotel, and the couple decides on their activities, itinerary, special day trips and dates together.

To guide you in figuring out what responsibilities to keep and what responsibilities to give your future spouse, consider each partner’s special interests and talents. Who cares more about the honeymoon destination, the accommodations, the restaurant venues and the itinerary? If the groom loves cooking, allow him to decide upon the restaurants the two of you intend to visit. If the bride is an art lover, allow her to plan out your travel itinerary, including trips to special art galleries and museums.

Planning your wedding and honeymoon together provide many opportunities for you as a couple to develop your communication skills and problem-solving skills with one another. Compromise is a key component of a healthy marriage, so learn to compromise with your honeymoon planning. Stick to your preference when it comes to something that it really important to you, like the destination, and compromise with a detail that matters more to your partner, like the accommodations.

It is worth mentioning that a fifth option exists when it comes to who is responsible for planning the honeymoon. Some grooms like to surprise their new wife by planning the entire honeymoon, figuring out all details, covering all expenses, and flying with their wife after their wedding to destination that the bride only discovers at airport or upon arrival. Would your bride enjoy such a memorable surprise? It just depends on the bride’s personality. Some brides like surprises and spontaneity, and would consider it incredibly romantic and stress-relieving for their new spouse to take full responsibility for planning the myriad of details associated with the honeymoon. Other brides, however, favor having control over all aspects of the wedding planning and feel more comfortable and relaxed by not having to deal with any major surprises or changes.

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